valentime's garland tutorial

*don't click on the undecorated tapeworm if you hate sciency grossnes*

 I rilly rilly rilly wanted to thro a Valentime's Bash, where all of us hot girls squeeze into our vintage prom dresses and the guys dress up all James Bond. We'd drink pink sherbert + moutain dew floats in champange glasses and I'd get to decorate all awesome.

Not only would it be so fun, but it would give us a chance to be wholesomely immodest since it's just costuming from our younger days, like how when I wear my cheerleader uniform for halloween n all.

But, my dear sweet hubs actually said, "Not this year, babe".

So, I said, "That's okay hun, still love you bunches!" 

THEN, I got out that jarred tapeworm he sent me from his mission in Brazil, and with my hands all bedecked in my super cute Target/Liberty of London floral print gloves, I bedazzled that tapeworm with cricut cut hearts and those v-day quote candy hearts and mini craft roses, and draped it all cute garland-like it acrost his pillow.

Take that, sugar muffin, and no nuzzlin for you tonite! I'm so gon to act all innocent and sweet today, so he'll be extra surprised! So, that my spinster and divorced friends, will help you realize that being single is only *sometimes* awesome. But so you wont be totally lame, I'll give you a 'Get a date by Valentime's Day Guide' soon!

xoxo!
ASH